family cancer: loss trauma severely

i'm new here and blind but my phone talks. it's been 6 years since i had to go through the hardest loss of my life resulting in severe trauma. grandma passed from lung cancer and while it's a heavy challenge to carry i've realized i can still be acceptant of the loss even if it's hard at times. sometimes i wish someone could just make her come back alive. but as frustrating as this is i realize in reality this can't happen. has anyone had a similar loss experience that i can maybe learn and grow from? i realize not everyone is gonna have the same result of loss trauma in some cases. but i'm slowly losing hope in the sense of maybe it won't get better. i cry just knowing she's no longer with my family. and that in itself is frustrating. but maybe through this app i could realize i'm not the only one going through a loss. losing her was deeply traumatizing cuz no one told me how bad off she really was till after i got to her room where her death bed was. i know somehow it'll be okay and that's why i found this app and decided to install it. loss is such a heavy weight to carry alone. i hope through this app i can gain more hope even just a little.